A Dad's Birth Prep Guide: 6 Essential Steps That Actually Matter
Let’s face it, most dads won’t start packing until mom’s water breaks. That being said, here are some basic items, tasks, and conversations that I had prepped, sort of, before the big day!
1. Do a hospital visit.
My wife learned about how important it is to be comfortable in your birth environment from the OPTimize Birth course so this is a big part of the prep work we can help our partners with. Almost everything below starts with knowing the environment you will be in, how Mom feels about the space, and what we, as Dads, can do to make it as comfortable as possible. Doing a hospital visit helps you learn what needs to be packed and what doesn’t. Can you get food delivered? Do you need extra blankets? Will you be changing rooms or staying in the same room the whole time? Who is allowed to visit? How many at a time? Can you connect a Firestick or Roku to the TV?
2. The “Go” Bags.
The Go Bags should contain everything needed for the 2-3 days spent in the hospital. Most likely Mom, (that’re your wife—y’all are the parents now!) will have her bags packed along with Baby’s bag packed, so the below focuses on what you need. Pro Tip: make sure you know what is in both Mom’s and Baby’s bags, and where they are, so you can grab them and go!
1. Comfortable clothing for both day and night time. Bring a pair of sweats in case it gets cold and some extra shirts in case Baby decides to spit up
2. Slip on shoes/sandals for quick trips around the room or hospital
3. More than 1 pair of socks and underwear….
4. Toiletries
5. Electronics: chargers, Fire Stick, bluetooth speaker, etc.
6. Use the car to store anything that doesn’t fit into a backpack or small bag. Mom will be stressed enough, no need to add a mess to the equation.
3. Bluetooth speaker.
This was the best thing that I brought and is the first thing I recommend to friends. We had a relaxing playlist playing in the background the entire time Mom was pushing, which allowed us to control the chaos and put her into a good mental space. Set the mood for your wife as best you can, don’t leave it up to chance. Prerequisite: Know what she considers to be a relaxing playlist, not what you think is relaxing…
4. Have an “Family Alert Plan”.
Knowing when you plan to call grandparents is an easy way to take just a little bit of stress out of the equation. This was something my wife learned while going through the course and tasked to me with since she would likely be busy with the whole giving birth thing. For us, both Grandmas were about a 3.5 hour drive away. This meant we didn’t want any middle of the night false alarms or Grandmas speeding through a mountain pass in the dark. Our “Family Alert Plan” was initiated once we were checked into the room and my wife was “comfortable”. We knew we weren’t being sent home by this point, we didn’t have to answer a ton of questions before we knew answers, and yet it still gave the Grandmas plenty of time to make the drive to come and support us.
5. Trust and advocate.
The hospital staff are the experts, but you know your wife, even better than she does at times! Using the birth plan we created from the resources in OPTimize Birth allowed me to speak up when my wife couldn’t and make sure the plan was followed as much as possible. It will be difficult for her to answer questions mid-contraction, and you might be able to respond for her and get a thumbs up of approval for confirmation. If Mom is in pain or having a hard time processing questions, be ready to step up and help her provide responses.
Example from our experience:
Nurse: On a scale of 1 to 10 how much pain are you in?
Wife: Probably a 4 or 5 (vomits into trash can)
Me: What's the worst pain you have ever been in?
Wife: Right now
Once we had some pain management on board… I learned that my wife assumed other situations could cause more pain so this probably wasn’t that bad…. trust the professionals, but also know your partner and advocate as needed.
6. Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance
My job was to support my wife during the pregnancy and be ready to start Dad life. Plain and simple. Did going to happy hour 11 days before she was due the best idea? Probably not… But how I was I supposed to know she’d go into labor that night?! Luckily, I had done mental reps over the month leading up to “B-day”. I knew the birth plan, I knew the “Family Alert Plan”, I knew what bag I was going to shove all my stuff into at the last second, and I knew where Mom/Baby’s hospital bags were. Although I wasn't perfect, I was able to stay calm, cool, and collected for the entire process because I had listened to my wife, was active in her excitement/concerns while planning for birth and going through the OPTimize Birth course, and I understood that while this was a big moment for me, the focus needed to remain on Mom and Baby.
